Resolving conflicts (with customers and colleagues)

Jake Vermillion	Welcome to Up-Market Sales Success, a series designed to help busy loan officers just like you make the most of high-volume markets. My name is Jake, I'm a member of the Mortgage Champions team, and we are incredibly excited to bring this powerful offering to you. Let's dive into the topic at hand, Resolving conflicts (with customers and colleagues), with Dale Vermillion. Hi Dale!
Dale Vermillion	Hi Jake.
Jake Vermillion	In this installment, we want to discuss how to quickly and effectively resolve conflicts with both customers and colleagues, especially in high-volume markets, where emotions often run high and setbacks are inevitable. Starting with customers, what are some things loan officers can keep in mind when trying to diffuse a tense situation with an upset customer?
Dale Vermillion	Well, let me start with a quote, Jake from Donald Porter, who was a VP of British airways. He said, "Customers don't expect you to be perfect. What they do expect is you to fix things when they go wrong." Look, you said it earlier and you're dead on, that conflict is part of the game in the mortgage business. Okay? I hear people all the time, particularly loan officers, that go, "You know what, I just don't want any conflict." Well, this is the wrong industry for that, because you're going to have it. It's going to happen. It's how you respond to it that makes all the difference. And the very first rule of thumb, with all conflict, is to go back to what our momma taught us when we were growing up: the three magical words, "I'm so sorry." That's the first thing we do. We got to make sure that we understand that when somebody is subset, you know, you've heard me say before "Perception is reality." Well, if they're upset, if there's a conflict, their perception is they've been wronged. So, you apologize. Not for what happened, because you don't yet know what happened. You apologize for their emotion. So, when I'm in conflict if I get somebody who says, Hey, I'm really mad about this, or, "Hey, I'm upset about this," or, "Hey, you guys did this." I start with, "Oh, first off I am so sorry you're upset about that. I'm so sorry to hear that you're frustrated right now. You know what? I am going to get to the bottom of it." And let the person know you are here to help solve the problem. You want to work in teamwork in conflict and let that person know you're here to solve it. And get right to the facts. It's important that as soon as you apologize for the emotion, as soon as you show that empathy and compassion, you start to diffuse that conflict is what happens. Now they're willing to talk to you. And now what you do is you show a willingness to want to help. And you say, "Okay, tell me the problem. Give me your side of this story." And remember this, don't ever forget this in conflict, there's always two sides to a story. So, when you get their side, that's the first side, when they're done, what you're going to do is you're then going to go internally and say, "Okay, let me take this to my team. Let me look and see what happened on this end." That buys you some time in the conflict. Let them know you're going to come back to them with a solution and simply get with your team, and let's get the other side of that story. Don't make any assumptions. Don't assume anybody's guilty yet. And never take what a person tells you in that first conversation at face value. You gotta understand, they're upset, they're emotional, there's a lot going with that. They may be giving you some facts, but they're probably not giving you all the facts, and they may not even know all of them facts. So, keep an open mind. Get your team involved. Get the other side of the story, come to solution, call them back with the solution. And then here's the final tip on this: stand your ground once you provide a solution. I've seen it all too many times where we provide a solution and then the customer goes, "Oh, that's not good enough." And we go, "Okay. Well, let me see what I can do again." When we waffle what happens is it unravels everything. We're starting at point one again. And we've got to try to get this thing worked out and it probably won't get there.
Jake Vermillion	What about internally? We all feel the weight of surging volumes and it can create some uncomfortable tension in the office, whether that be in person or even working remotely. How can one officer be leaders and keeping the peace and maintaining a healthy team environment during up markets?
Dale Vermillion	Well, I think first and foremost is to remember that you're all in this for the same goal. Look, we're on the team together. We're all here wanting to help the customer, wanting to help the partner, wanting to get this deal done. Even though it may not always seem like that, we are in it for the same reason and the same purpose. Remind yourself of that first and foremost. Here's the second thing. And man, this is a big one. Write this down: don't take things personally. Look, when people, you know, send an email that's not the nicest email ,or they leave a message that's not the nicest message, or they sound frustrated. You know what? They're probably just frustrated. Don't take it personally, even though sometimes it may sound that way. Remember, what they're doing is they're venting out of frustration. They're probably going to say things that they normally wouldn't say or wouldn't want to say. If we can learn not to take it personal and just pull from that, the information that is beneficial to creating a solution, and then be compassionate in that process, we can get to a resolution pretty quickly. And let them know, let them know that you're in it for them. You're in it for the team. That you're willing to help. A willingness with your customers and with your colleagues is the key to all of this because when people see that you have a desire to want to make things right, they typically won't stay mad very long.
Jake Vermillion	Dale, any parting thoughts on this topic?
Dale Vermillion	I think the number one rule is just to remember that conflict is absolutely part of the game. There's no way to avoid it. You can't run from it. You can't stick your head in the sand and hide from it. We've got to respond to it. And don't think it's going to be worse than it's going to be. Don't create in your mind this image that, "This conflict, I mean, it's going to end up being a big thing." Instead, go with the mindset, "You know what? Okay. We have an issue. Let's consider what is the solution." Always pivot from problem to solution, conflict to solution. If you do that and you go in with the right positive mindset, you're going to work through a lot of conflict. You're going to be very successful and you're going to be able to take it right in stride and really hit some great numbers.
Jake Vermillion	Don't forget to complete today's Skill Challenge by writing the steps that Dale shared down, or saving them as a note to one of your devices, and then repeating them to yourself throughout the day. When you next have to address an uncomfortable situation, these strategies will be top of mind to help you navigate it empathetically and effectively. And then let us know how things go by clicking the feedback link in the show description.